A secret wedding

Matthew and Kayla Kramer

I think I must go back a bit… On their way to Afrika Burn Matthew let me know he was going to propose to Kayla, I was told to not say anything, he had already asked her dad for her hand in marriage.

I want to share with you, this past weekend my son, Matthew and his wife, Kayla decided to celebrate their love for one another in a “secret wedding“. The invited guests thought they were coming to an engagement party, dress was smart casual Boho style. No one knew that they had already gotten married the week before with the parents as witnesses at home affairs, we were sworn to secrecy. They decided to have this beautiful celebration the week later with very close family and true friends. I thought what a great way for them to honour their love, no nonsense, no drama that one find leading up to a wedding.This decision was made because this is what they wanted. We as parents honored their decision. Both Matthew and Kayla are from large families with two sets of dads and moms each. When the list was drawn up they had to look at it realistically, the number’s, the economics and who they had shared quality time with in the last three months. That I understood as well as the other parents. There were a lot of family members not included as well as friends and acquaintances.

In this photo Kayla’s family chatting before the suprise.

When we arrived at the venue out in the country side of Muldersdrift a place called Ground Café the day was perfect, the late winter weather spectacular,what a blessing, we were directed to the area where we had to go to. A cluster of trees set to one side with the hill as a backdrop. Here the guest were greeted with wine and beer to get the mood going. Hay bales were set out with a a doorway leading to the path with rose quartz along the pathway, with the afternoon sun rays filtering through the trees it created a magical space. Charl Du Toit sang, what a talented young artist.

Walking up to the forest area

The guest looked beautiful in their Boho style. Incredible to see and feel the pure love that everyone felt, by now the feeling that a wedding was going to happen was real. Seeing Matthew with his dad and grandfather was wonderful to witness the 3 generations of the Kramer name.

Matthew and his grandfather Heinz

Gary my husband and I knowing what is about to happen

Claire, Matthew’s sister, and her partner Carl von Hoesslin

Claire with her step – mom Arlene

The moment had arrived Kayla with her father, beautiful and radiant. As Kayla walked towards Matthew who was overcome by emotion we all could not help but feel their energy, their love. Sitting there watching my son the tall gentle giant waiting for his Kayla was an emotional moment for me. This was my son’s wedding celebration this was the moment I don’t have to keep the secret, I can tell everyone they were married and that the beautiful Kayla was now my daughter-in-law. That moment that Dave and Matthew hugged each other in front of us to witness was the moment the love of Matthew into Kayla’s family was evident for each of us to witness. Knowing that Matthew was part of this extended family recieved with warmth and blessings was a heart warming moment for me as his mom.

A touching moment between Matthew and Kayla’s dad, Dave.

Their commitment to one another was both beautiful and gentle as well as emotional to witness. Their words to one another showed the depth of their love.

Knowing that they were supported by Matthew’s Boy’s and Kayla’s Tribe was all inspiring the knowledge of deep friendships between this group of young adults.

Then it was time to party, taking a stroll across the open space to the hall was special with the bagpipes playing

Waiting for us was the Gin Bar for every one to enjoy whilst photographs were being taken.

Chelsea and Claire enjoying pink gin

Cheers from me to Matthew and Kayla.

As the sun set over the hill the light started to turn creating magic in the air, the weather still blessed us with its magnificent, giving its blessing to the witnessed celebration. Nothing more beautiful than capturing an African Sunset.

Listening to the laughter by many, the joy of witnessing this special moment will forever be with I believe everyone who came to be with Matthew and Kayla.

The speeches by the father’s were funny, meaningful and emotional. Matthew’s dad included Gary, my husband, to also be part of the speech, as his stepfather he has also played a valuable part of Matthew’s growth and journey. Even in these times of family dynamics one can still be a family as at the end of the day no matter how small or big our children come first. Thank goodness that we as parents have an emotionally mature relationship that allows us to be great with one another which honours our children.

Matthew with his brother Jon and Gary

Matthew, Gary and myself

Kayla and Chelsea (Jon partner)

Kayla and I

One thing is for sure when one dances the energy level rises. The freedom to express one’s self comes out. Word of advice take another pair of shoes to dance in preferably the most comfortable.

Kayla and her girls dancing away.

What Matthew and Kayla has shown all of us is that we need to instill in ourselves the ability to keep to what we believe in, not let the fear of what other’s think or say.

My wish for my beautiful children As you step into your new chapter as a married couple that you will remain your true authentic selves, that you will honour one another allowing growth to happen for your selves. Never to leave home without saying goodbye or giving the other a hug and kiss, always saying I love you. At night when the lights go off I love you is said. If you feel frustrated to talk about it to have the ability to communicate. Never to feel fearful of one another. To laugh and cry together, to walk and run together. To be together. I love you my angels. Mom

#secretwedding #groundcafe #closefamily #closefriends #aguysboys #agirlstribe #whatmatters #wedding #pinkgin

Advertisements

Dreams are for everyone including YOU!

The moment you create that dream it is yours to expand on. You have to believe it, see it, own it. Start your visualization board for you to take ownership of your dream.

When you share too much of your dreams you are setting yourself up for other’s to be critical. These are your dreams never loose hope because of other’s influence or a bump in your road. Create the road forward for the possibilities you envisioned from the start.

Never rush your dreams as timing is right. Once your dreams have been formulated, a plan of action put into place you start the journey of a ‘dream born’. Your dreams do have wings.

If there are bumps in the road don’t give up I believe it’s a time for you to re-evaluate what you have been doing perhaps it needs tweaking, don’t loose hope. Especially at this point don’t let someone take away your dreams by saying to you that you should have listened to them etc etc….. Step back relook at what you have done so far, that’s a start to you dream, if there is something that is throwing out your hard work change the formula. It does work!

Once you have created your dream as your reality you have to nurture it everyday, don’t become complacent, once complacency sets in you will loose your dream and your hope for it.

Never forget you are worthy of your dreams. Start each day with an affirmation “I AM WORTHY OF MY DREAM…………….” 👈🏻 name your dream in the blank.

#dreams #visualize #youareworthy #creatingpossiblities

#findingyourinnergoddess

Changing our wording regarding weight.

Weight has become a major issue for many people over time. I myself have become a victim of this, through years of bullying as a young school girl and adult, where weight became an massive factor in my life. I was the perfect yoyo dieter until recently. It’s not easy dealing with weight when society puts pressure on how we should look etc. Many people have not found work or relationships because of this. A very difficult time for many. There is also the illness factor that does contribute to weight gain which has to be addressed and handled with dedication and love of self to work through.

I believe that we need to relook at how we address our love / hate relationship with weight. The key is looking at how we look and embrace who we are, as soon as that happens a shift does take place…… We stop our immediate pressure on ourselves. Always remember what others think that is just it, it’s what they think! What are they trying to hide that they need to turn their attention to you. Once the mind shift changes from you, you need to change what you say about your weight……

Remove the word ‘loose’, you might be wondering why I’m saying this. To loose something you will get it back. Normally we always find what we have lost or it somehow finds its way back. So Hallo why on earth do you want your weight back. Let’s change the word to Release. When you release something you set it free. I have finally come to terms with this.

Every day I say my Affirmations as often as possible they have become my Mantra. When I look in the mirror I look at myself with loving eyes and not eyes of judgement. When you bath or shower embrace your body by loving your body by acknowledging the journey it has been with you. You and your body have traveled many journeys, gone through all types of emotions as well as the roller coaster ride of your relationship with weight. Dealing with cellulite etc…

If you are wanting to release your weight believe it, see it and feel it. You are worthy.

Needing a guest speaker please contact me on delia@vipond.co.za

In love and light.

Delia

#youareworthy #findingyourinnergoddessjournal #selfgrowth #weight #release #embraceyourbody #embrace

The Credit Stealer

How many people in positions of leadership have become what they are because of the team behind them? It’s food for thought!

I have come across so many people who have become victims of credit stealers. So what is a credit Stealer? It is that person of authority, or a co-worker who takes others hard work as their own. That is the simplicity of that statement. Are you a credit stealer?

How does a credit Stealer impact on the very people they take from? They create demotivation, lack luster staff as well as mistrust where staff hate the work environment.

Some people will take your work ethics and violate them to better themselves. No matter what you do it’s not about you but rather about the core value of that person. Never drop your standards for someone else who is a credit stealer. Value who you are.

What about the credit stealer who is a work colleague? There are plenty of them around let’s face it. These are the ones who take advantage of a fellow colleague, taking their ideas or manipulating it to look like their work. Come across any lately? Then to top it off they get a promotion that rightly should have been yours.

I honestly believe that eventually they will be exposed.

To have staff that are motivated leaders need to motivate their staff to such an extent that staff members are enthusiastic to get to work and deliver.

A little exercise for yourself, your Team leaders as well as staff to answer. There will be answers that may shock one, it’s a necessary if you are wanting to create a positive outcome within your organization.

How do you empower your staff members?

Are the right people getting the accolade they deserve?

Are you promoting the right people?

How do you have an uplifted positive team that is empowered?

Give yourself time to reflect on these questions……..

Needing a guest speaker, contact me.

#creditstealer #dontdemotivate #yourstaffareworthy #empower #findingyourinnergoddessjournal #guestspeaker

Seasons in our life

Recognising the seasons in our lives with friendships.

Angel painted by Jenny Liebenburg
Art work is available for purchase via Jenny Liebenberg

It is amazing to think we are already 7 months into 2018. As we go into winter (summer for some) the leaves changing, the nights colder I tend to go into hibernation mode. I sometimes wonder if I was not a bear in my previous life as the cold and I are not friends.

I must apologise for being MIA for the month of June. I needed some cocooning time to do a little healing on myself. During this time, it gave me time to reflect and honour my friendships.

As we go into seasons within our lives, we go through the process with people who come into and are part of our daily lives. Recognising this process can in itself be challenging to us especially if we do not like conflict or changes. However, we need to do this process to allow us to grow and become the person we are meant to be.

Friendship for me is vital and of upmost importance – this in its true essence is what it is all about is it not? I will say that friends need to honour one another and be true, not a one sided affair. I have two friendships that have been forever in my life.My twin sister Anthea has always been a part of my life.

I am not going to say, “Oh, it’s been plain 107sailing” of course, however we have had our fair share of sibling issues but our friendship has held us close. We have always been there for one another; Anthea is part of me. She has been the strength in my journey, my greatest cheerleader, and critic; she has made things feel uncomfortable when I was too complacent. Yes, my twin sister is also my greatest friend. A month ago, we were both involved in a horrific hit and run accident. Going through this experience together has defined our God given gift as twins and our everlasting relationship. 2017 was perhaps one of the most devastating part of our relationship which tested us to a limit that I can’t put into words, through that agonising period for both us we had to work with in and reach deep to pull through. On our beloved mother’s deathbed, we realised and saw the essence of our importance to one another.

Anthea constantly is my there as we are to one another.

31081552_10155291800367461_1105313080620875776_n

My dearest sister, Melanie older by a few years. A reminder of both my mother and granny in the sense of the wise words that come from her. Time has had to shape our relationship to what it is now, through the growing up stages of infancy, adolescence, adulthood to the maturity of now. I am forever grateful for this growth and where we are at now. I value each moment we get to chat as through these times wisdom always comes through.

Sue

 

 

The first time I met my dearest friend Susan was in 1975. We became friends instantly and we are still friends. After school, we drifted apart, to this day I am not sure why, life happens. I remember catching up with Sue when she was a mom of three and I had my two. Our friendship went into hibernation…It was only after many years when we got together again through face book. The funny thing was her sister saw me driving in the traffic in Johannesburg took my number plate down and traced me via this way, when Sue saw my surname as Vipond she said it wasn’t me as she remembered my surname as a different one. That put it on hold until she remembered Anthea’s surname and looked up her friends on Face Book and found me that way .When we finally met up it was as if we had seen one another just the other day. Our friendship has grown in the years, there is a maturity about our friendship where there is no jealousy, no proving to one another it a  friendship of genuine feeling for one another for honouring the other.

Cindi

Sometimes we come across people we just click with and I am so very fortunate to have that in my friend Cindi. I remember the first time I met her in Cape Town where she was a general manager of the hotel I used to go to on a monthly basis when I was travelling on business. Her warmth and genuine care so instilled in her shines through every pore of her. Every day I wake up and I find an uplifting inspiring quote on my phone that she has sent me. Cindi is an incredibly positive uplifting friend that I value and I’m blessed with daily.

 

Deb and I book launch
Recently I met Deborah, who is vibrant an enterprising friend and quite a power house who has embraced Finding Your Inner Goddess. Her passion for assisting women goes hand in hand with my goal to empower women. The one thing I can truly say is that Deb’s is a woman of integrity and love that cares about her friends and will always be there for you. She is the strength that one honours in a friendship.

I believe people come into our lives for a reason allowing us to learn from one another. Sometimes there comes a point in our self- development and growth when people we regarded as friends need to move from our space. This also happens in some marriages where the time to leave has to happen for the good of all. I believe that when we come into this timing within our growth it is vital to have the emotional maturity to be honest with the other person and tell them that it is time for you to move forward and thank them for being part of your life. When the other person resists, threatens, and refuses to move on this is when you need to stand strong. When a “friend” feels that you are not part of her space because of her belief system, it is not about you it is about where they are at and that they hold fear in their own belief system. Friends can be friends with anyone from a different race, culture, or religion – it is about honouring the other. Do not be that person that simply exits from a relationship without telling the other why; personally, I believe this is a coward’s way of ending a relationship.

I will say that moving on from friends can be bittersweet as well. It is interesting how when a friendship ends how the other party cannot be cordial. The worst part is been in a friendship of three, not ideal! Someone always gets hurt. It is like the middle child syndrome, someone always feels left out. Don’t be the friend in the middle of two friends who are not talking to one another and you are trying to get them back together as you will always be taken out of context and seen as the one interfering. If one sends e-mails about the other wishing to be friends with the other, let them know you are sending their e-mails onto one another so they get the facts. I did this, which was conveniently forgotten: – I talk from experience. I set the boundaries regarding these two friends however, it backfired on me, as some would say “True story”

Do not surround yourself with “friends” who on a whim when they are going through their stuff un-friends you on face book or blocks you on WhatsApp those are not true friends. Friends treat one another with love and respect; friends know you will be there for them. It is important to recognise who are your friends and who are the passers-by is in your life. As the quote goes, “Some people aren’t loyal to you. They are loyal to their need of you. Once their needs change, so does their loyalties” Walk away from people and situations that threaten your peace of mind.

Surround yourself with positive uplifting friends, who uplift one another. The true essence of a friend is someone who knows you, understands you, and is there for you. This also is what you as a true friend should do. Respect one another.

You will notice I use the words “honour and blessed” a lot, these two words are a vital part of my day and they are words that are who I am, I give thanks every day for the honoured blessings I am given.

                                                       For my treasured sisters and friends:

“Dear Sisters and friends, I am so lucky to have someone like you – hopeful, kind, honest, and true. Goodwill shared with sincerity and trust, no jealousy a part of us, rather upliftment as part of us. Thank you for this part of my life that I am blessed with, I have been blessed with the blessing of you in my life.”

Journal

A journal for women to re-discover who they are

$22.00

My connection to the month of May

 

 

This precious month for me will always be significant to me as it is the month I officially launched “Finding your Inner Goddess”, it’s the month my mother would have celebrated her birthday as well the anniversary of her passing.

Sunday 13th May was mother’s day in many parts of the world. To all moms I salute you for the work you do. What does Mother Day mean:  a day in the year in which mothers are honoured by their children as well as step or adopted mothers are honoured.

As a mother I’m passionate where my children are concerned and I’m also a step mom which I am proud of, but, let’s be frank here – step parenting has been a journey of many roads travelled; so many lessons learned and new understandings gained, allowing me to grow.

IMG_101517535358342
Here I am with Gary and our children.

The hardest part of being a step-mom has been its severe challenges, tough at times, but a necessary journey in my case. I am a mom to all our children, but I will never, and have never tried to replace my step-sons mother as that’s not my place, and all I can be is their other mom and to be there for them. I believe that children model themselves on their parents and that is why it is so important for mothers to be a shining example. Princess Diana said “I will fight for my children on any level so they can reach their potential”, and what an incredible mother she was.

Last year we didn’t celebrate mother’s day with my beautiful mom as she had passed away on the 2nd May, this will be my second mother’s day without my mom. My mother was a beauty queen and an absolutely stunning model in her day. I can remember her as this incredibly elegant woman always with make up on and never untidy at home, even when she wasn’t going out or at work. She was a mother of five and also a step-mom. Was my mom perfect – not at all; did she have favourites – absolutely! Often as a child and growing into my adult life I felt very sad and rejected because of the favouritism but then I was blessed to have been given a twin sister who was my companion and my best friend. Perhaps my mom felt that we had one another, although I’m not sure.  My parents got divorced when I was very young, and though I had a step-father, my mom was the parent figure in my life. Had my mom dealt with all her challenges I know her life would have been so different.

At the age of around 15 I met an incredible woman who became, in my eyes, my second mom. I know her as Mrs Thatcher and she always loved me and embraced me into her home like her daughter. To this day we are still in contact, and, although she lives in Durban and I am in Johannesburg, whenever I’m in that part of the country I always pop in to see her.Mrs Thatcher and I can catch up were we left off as it doesn’t matter how long ago we saw or spoke to another and I’ve always told her she was my other mom. You don’t have to have a mother who birthed or raised you as you can have that relationship with someone else, such as I did.

As we move into adult life we marry and are gifted with another mom – a mother-in-law.  Some mothers-in-law are from hell, whilst others are a pure delight. I often wonder why mom-in-laws are so impacted by their daughter-in-laws; sure daughter-in-laws also can be crazy. This dynamic was never on my agenda as I hated conflict and I was taught about respecting others. My first mom-in-law was a very sweet woman, Mom Kramer loved by all. We celebrated our birthdays together, I used to laugh and say to Peter that he married me to remind him of his mom. How special it was to celebrate my birthday not just with my twin but also with Mom Kramer, sadly she passed away 2nd September 2017 – 5 months after my beautiful mom’s passing.

My relationship with my other mom-in-law Mom Andrew was one that started off very badly due to the misguided and poisonous things she was fed by my husband’s ex. It took 7 years before she finally got to meet me, and, we did meet it became a relationship that had to be worked at every week. I believed in my marriage and I believed in my husband, so for me it was vital that Mom Andrew knew who I was and not who she thought I was. I could have turned my back on her and become the daughter-in-law from hell but to what advantage? Every moment of our life is critical for our wellbeing, and it wouldn’t have served me to be otherwise, absolutely not. In time she got to know me for who I was and my core values, we ended up having a relationship that we were comfortable with. I spoke to her every single week, when she was ill I flew down to Durban and spent time with her making sure she was comfortable. I remember when she phoned me the last time I spoke to her she really didn’t sound well at all, it was a Saturday morning and we chatted for about an hour, it was as if she needed to talk to me about some of the things on her chest, she said Gary can phone her on the Monday. Gary was away on a golfing weekend, that night when he phoned I mentioned that his mom didn’t sound so great. When Gary got back Sunday afternoon I insisted that he phoned his mom which he did. Thank goodness he did as she passed away early hours of Monday morning, 7/4/2014.

2014-04-13 18.47.52
My mom and I

27th May is my mother’s birthday. Even though she has passed on, today will always remain her birthday, for someone to minimise it by saying that she is no longer here shows no heart or empathy. I celebrate my mother for the beautiful woman she was and what she had instilled in her children. When the simple act of picking up the phone to chat to your mom when you need it most isn’t there anymore – that is when reality hits.

When the words “I love you my child” don’t come anymore that’s when reality hits.

I wrote a poem a few years ago as a Step-mom for all Step-children to understand.

2014-06-01 13.43.29

 

It is very important that as women we honour one another, we honour our mothers. I look at the way that so many of the younger generation treat their mothers and I’m appalled. I don’t know if it’s the age of Reality TV that we see that the younger generation feels it okay that they have carte blanch to disrespect their parents as they do. Moms have their journeys and moms have a lot they carry with them, so I believe until one has walked in their shoes don’t judge and don’t expect to be treated like a princess or prince if you don’t treat your mom with respect. As we are a God given gift so are our moms. One day it might be too late to go talk, hug or say to your mom I love you – that’s how I see it. If you are wondering about my relationship with my children, I can honestly say I have a really good healthy one with each of them. I am blessed with their personal values and growth, and with their choices as well as the respect they show me. I am blessed with who they have become.

As women we go through many phases in our lives which create so many emotions within us. We carry much on our shoulders, putting aside our own “stuff” to be there for everyone else. When children come into our lives we continue to put our “stuff” deeper in boxes as it becomes easier than dealing with it. When we get comfortable with doing this we put our very needs last, having chatted to a few women I have found it’s incredible to see how we all have this common denominator – everyone first, ourselves last.  How great would it be if schools could teach life coaching so as adults we can understand coping skills instead of putting it in the box and closing the lid? My word, I had boxes and boxes to unpack, today I deal with the issues as they come up – there and then, and I can’t and won’t do the boxes again. Regarding boxes I have had to do deal with this for my own self growth but that will be for another day.

Never loose heart in who you are – for as you nurture yourself – you nurture others. Your children will have the mother they need; the ripple effect is rewarding for everyone.

Happy you – happy partner – happy children– happy family….. And so the cycle is formed.

Journal

A journal for women to re-discover who they are

$22.00